Gratitude

I am overwhelmed of gratitude for the life I have been given. For the gifts, for the people and for the providence. I never imagined life could be so good. I am not even sure people consider their life or how things change, but I do. I was once hopeless, but now full of hope. I was once a slave to others and the world, but now I am free. When I was a child I feared everyday. A good day for me was a day that my parents were pleased with me, which was rare. I had to be extra good and perform extra duties and chores in order to feel their love. Even if they did love me, their actions spoke the opposite. Now that I am preparing for parenthood I understand so much more. Why did my parents think it was good to abuse me verbally and physically? Why did they think it was okay to cut off all of my hair when I would lie? I'm not sure the crime met the punishment on that one. Everyday was a burden to be their child. I never thought I would ever escape this feeling. I cried often...begged for forgiveness often. But now I know what true forgiveness is and those who love you will. At the age of 15 my life changed forever. That was the first and only time I stood up for myself. I had to set myself free. If not I would end up destroying myself because of my misery. I chose to run away...not knowing where  I would end up. To make a long story short, I went to the cops that day and ended up in a foster home in Ontario, Ca. I had never even been to this city. These people were strangers to me. I turned over in my new bed and cried. I cried differently this time. I was crying out to something, as if I was expecting someone to hear me and help me. I had never shed such broken tears in my life. Little did I know this foster home would end up being just what I needed. My foster mother loved me and showed me love I never had before. I would cry in her lap many times in the long nights we stayed up together. To make a long story short my entire life changed. I found my mother that I hadn't seen in six years and finished school with her. I went straight into college and trade school. I eventually received my Bachelors Degree in psychology and Esthetician License. I met my now husband in 2012 and now we are expecting a baby girl!!!! He is the love of my life, my perfect life partner. We are creating a beautiful family that I never had. See...dreams do come true.